Sunday 31 January 2010

The Marilyn Mansion on The River Cottage


Jerusalem artichoke and nettle gratin




Taken from Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s River Cottage Everyday (a great Christmas present from some thoughtful parents) this recipe seemed apt after—in true River Cottage style—we had got our hands upon some locally-grown Jerusalem artichokes, picked three days before from an allotment in Leamington Spa. Though, being few in number the artichokes were supplemented with potatoes sliced and cut in the same way. Also in this vein the walnuts taken from a tree in one of our gardens while the rest of the ingredients were taken from the Co-op next door. If we seem smug then that’s because, to be honest, it’s great. So here it is taken verbatim from Everyday (publication laws probably flaunted):


“Heat the oil and butter in a frying pan, add the onions and garlic and cook gently until soft and starting to take on a little colour. [Colour meaning brown.] Add the artichokes and thyme, [We only had dried sadly.] then season well with salt and pepper. Cook, tossing occasionally, for 5 minutes.


Pour over cream and water or stock and simmer gently until the liquid has reduced by half. [This took a surprisingly long time—around twenty minutes.] Stir in the nettles or spinach, then transfer everything to a greased gratin dish, levelling out as you go. [We did the whole thing in a large Le Creuset so no transfer was need—this seemed to work out fine.]


Mix all the topping ingredients together. Sprinkle over the artichoke mixture and bake in an oven preheated to 190°C/ Gas Mark 5 for 25-30 minutes, until golden and bubbling.



Serves 4:

1 tablespoon sunflower oil

A knob of butter

2 onions, finely sliced

3 garlic cloves, sliced

500g Jerusalem artichokes, peeled and cut into 3mm thick rounds

1 teaspoon chopped thyme

200ml double cream

100ml vegetable stock or water

100g fresh nettle tops or spinach roughly chopped

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper


For the topping:

A handful of porridge oats

3 thick slices of stale bread, torn into little pieces

½ handful of walnuts, toasted, bashed, skinned into rough pieces [We didn’t have a nutcracker and our attempts to crack the walnuts on each other really quite hurt our palms so a hammer was employed. With effective results.]

25g butter, melted

30g Cheddar cheese, grated”



A pleasantly filling meal that adequately did the trick for 4 Mansion-dwellers as a main course. The topping worked to give some crunch to the softer base which led to the description of the dish as a “savoury crumble” by the diners. The dauphinoise-equse roots took up the creamy texture of the sauce in which they stewed, however some potatoes seemed to be noticeably harder than others. Whether we needed to stir more when the sauce was reducing to ensure they were covered we’re not sure—but this really is nit-picking in retrospect. It's all a pretty cheap dish and taking into account the substitutions should be readily available to everyone.


[Oh, also an interesting anecdote came up during conversation: did you know that seaweed in Chinese restaurants is more often than not just salted cabbage? What a fucking jip.]


We’ll be continuing this focus on our culinary practices in the future. Watch this space to expand your digestive horizons as we do the same.

Sunday 24 January 2010

Two Videos from the Vault

The internet is a place for video-picture. So much so, its easy to forget that computers before the internet sometimes did things too, and that those things were often being done by a skilled technical operator, working hard on the other end of a mouse or keyboard, often for whole days without sleep.

bpNichol was a poet of computers - old computers. Modern computers couldn't translate what his scheme was, until it was recently converted and made suitable for the eyes OF TODAY. Now, you just have to press play. Genuine information on this man, bpNichol is available here, on your friend, Wikipedia.

Here is a video of his making:

bpNichol - First Screening from Anon. on Vimeo.

For interested people, this blog has more information on bpnichol.



Compare and contrast with this video of a cat eating spaghetti. Skip to 40s and BE AMAZED!





Tuesday 19 January 2010

On Fashion: Male attire (finally) arrives in the 21st Century

Men's suits have long failed to provide invention. The adage that one can simply arrange the (very few) pieced jigsaw together and it's all done has proven true--until recently. Take these few examples:

#1- That guy from those coffee adverts has gone for the 'two shirt-buttons open' look combined with the bursting beard one would normally see on an itinerant folk singer, or perhaps a manchild with the hormones of a Jamaican youth sprinter:




#2- Then there's the sheen-coated, different coloured collar that this staid-dressed Birmingham bar manager has chosen. Note the bored face that bespeaks of a man dissatisfied with his suit:




#3- This haggard old man from--we think--Steptoe and Son has gone for the 50s nostalgia look, sadly it's pretty terrible:




#4- However, a few years past a half-man/ half-leprechaun hinted at the future. Many laughed at this goblin-man's choice of clothing. They guffawed as how this humanoid parodied our boring suits so well, how this comedy genius hit the zeitgeist. Little did they know that he was the harbinger of the future:




#5- Holy Piss-Fuck! We said when this under-21s Angolan football star emerged for training during the on-going 2010 African Cup of Nations. With a blazer the colour of a rich Bordeaux and 3 day-old bruises; lapels so thin and straight kept so with inset 30cm rulers; a pair of trousers high enough to tickle his nipples thus ensuring (beneath the jacket) they are always fiercely erect to denote heightened masculinity:



So, here be the future men of the world. Be aware. You heard it here first.