Monday 12 April 2010

Meat is the new Bread.


To quote one Tracy Jordan; "Bread is one of the worst things in the world". He couldn't be more right. Fuck Bread. Bread has for too long now ruled the noble sandwich with an iron fist of yeast based autocracy, with the full backing of "The powerful Bread lobby" (Dr Leo Spacemen). Well no longer Bread, no longer shall you plague our sandwiches, for we have a new leader. A man so powerful, so righteous, so in touch with the zeitgeist of modern life that he has instigated a world-wide rebellion. He goes by many name's; The Original, The Southern Bell, Chicken 'not so little' Sanders, The Mississippi Knight, El Pollo Loco, The Crispy Duke, Ol' Fry Bucket. We however know him simply as; The Colonel.

KFC will, in just a few hours release a sandwich that will change the face of sandwich's forever...The KFC Double-Down Sandwich. Containing no bread what-so-ever, the KFC DDS utilizes 'two thick and juciy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there's no room for a bun!' (KFC Website).

Witness...


Eating this sandwich is apparently the equivalent of eating two English Breakfasts, six plates of Shepherd's Pie, two portions of fish and chips, eight doughnuts, two and a half Mars bars (a shocking 512 calories each), or two Big Mac's. So as you can see The DDS is a clear winner, screaming over the finish line of 'the deliciousness marathon' (not and actual event. Yet.) hours before it's withering, weak willed competitors.

The King is dead. Long live The King.

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